Bean dreaming

Hey Shark where you been?Oh, you know, around. It's summer so I've doing a lot of, like, guts up in the sun, hanging. And stuff.

I know.

Yeah, right? Anyway I have this question about The Bean.

Oh yeah man, The Bean. Dig the bean. Looooove the Bean man.

Who doesn't right? Can't live without The Bean. The Bean makes the world turn and burn, you know?

Totally. I totally know. But what is the question?

The question is thus. In order to make the delicious beverage which issues from The Bean, you have to put it through this inanely complicated process before you can actually, you know, imbibe. I mean, like someone had to be the first one ever to discover the process for making The Bean imbibable, right? Who, and I mean, who, thinks like that?! Like it was the Sufis, right, the Sufis who were the first ever Bean lovers, so did the Grand Mufti Sufi sitting around in his kanquah one day spy a bean on the floor and say to himself, Yay and Verily, behold this Bean. I believe it would be way righteous to take this bean, and dry it in the sun, peel off the flesh, roast it, grind it, pour boiling water on the grounds and then imbibe it. Verily, make it so.

No, I don't think so, right? So it must have happened like through thousands of years of trial and error, where first the cave men got totally desperate in a drought or something and started chowing down on these little sour red berries and got thinking, yeah, ok, they're sour but whee I get a little buzz afterward, and the good part is if you dry them out they keep a lot longer. And then after a few hundred years of that, one of the cavemen goes, he goes, like what happens if I smash the Bean and chew the small bits, oh yeah, that gives an even better buzz. But then comes the next big leap, the roasting. Like, who thought of that?! So what I'm betting is this little caveman babe had been out and collected all the Buzz Beans and dried them out one morning and then put them on a rock, to smash them into little chewy small buzz beany bits, but then a dinosaur came along and scared her off, and there they sat, roasting in the hot sun in their own Beany oils until she had eventually evaded the dinosaur and then came back to find her little stash, and hey, the Beans were all dark and roasty and yeah, They Were Good like that. Or maybe just someone dropped them in a fire by accident and fished them out next morning, like totally desperate for some Bean Chewing Goodness and discovered they were even nicer and easier chewing after a little brazing. SO then comes the awsome part. And this is where I am totally sure the Sufis come in because only the divine religious inspiration of a woolen cape wearing Sufi twirling endlessly in a Bean chewing crazed circle doing the Dikbah would give the idea of pouring boiling water on the roast Bean, adding vanilla syrup and hot frothed goat milk to it, and imbibing it.

I mean, doesn't it totally like blow your mind? Or something?

1 comment:

Say it