テク地価各位はなその

鞍手氏らにかな墨ら母各位町背地味いといら身核にともちそくにみい
といすにら名とりんしなしいと crazy keyboard,　ら気す oh right there it is, how to turn off the katakana on this freakin thing, so...anyway...obviously I am in Tokyo. hey everybody. this is a cool place everyone is like way polite and smiley and maybe a little bit too polite and too smiley in a creep you out kind of way sometimes and last night the food i was eating kept trying to escape from the plate, but thats cool and nothing on this fr@kin keyboard is where it is supposed to be, dont expect any serious punctuation in this post alright - but anyway, i have a question. this is my question. when she found out i was coming here this way cute japanese punk babe said to me oh, hey, can you get me some coto cake its like my favorite ever in the world cake and i just cant get it over here. so im all sure babe, no problem, and shes like really grateful and i havent even got her the cake yet. and i get here, and i go into this shop called the family convenience store and im asking this no english guy do you have coto cake and hes all confused and shows me the whole shop and finally we get to the cake aisle and all the packages are in ちと市八八 ninja script so i cant find any coto cake and i keep saying coto coto coto and he finally gets it and hes all yeah here, this is the one, and i look at it and i figure no way. its like this plain vanilla sponge cake slice thing. like nothing anyone could possibly be longing for as a taste from home kind of thing. and im like no way man, this cant be coto cake and hes all yeah yeah, coto coto, so i buy a big lump of it for her and a little slice for me and i go back to my digs and i make a little espresso and i open the pack and i taste this stuff and like...wow. is it. BORING. so now i am stuck with a huge lump of this stuff and i know when i take it home she is going to look at it and go, no way, that is not coto cake you dumrian, and i aint going to get any rumpy pumpy points for all this work, which as you know, is the whole reason why we do ANYTHING for chicks, actually.

so this is my question.

at the moment i am keeping the hope alive, the little candle burning, that maybe this really is the cake she was looking for and she is going to get all emotional about it and jump me and that will be cool, but the question is, isnt it funny how the foods we grow up with, as children, those are like the BEST foods ever and someone completely different who didnt grow up with them, taste them and is all like YUK HOW CAN YOU EAT THAT CRらP but for the person whose childhood it is, they can only taste the taste of being ten years old again, and not the yuk taste.

anyway, that was my question. actually i hope she can taste the taste of being 17 again, not ten, but you know what i mean. or what. where is the question mark on this freakin keyboard地の地の熊

・
????

Why can't older women...

...play Wii? Like, my mother came down into the mancave last night and I'm down there with a friend and we have this old Wii I used to have when I was like, I don't know, younger, and we are having a real blast playing all those good old sports games and its not even HD, right, and she comes down and she's like, what are you two doing? and I am all, duh, wii? and she is oh wow i haven't seen anyone playing that for years how do you play that again and i'm like oh mom come on, and she's all come on, show me then, and so she takes the Wii thing and I put on tennis and she can seriously not even hit anything and even a total spaz can play Wii but she can't. And the whole vibe is out the window and you have to ask why did she insist when clearly she does not have the aptitude (that means ability). i mean it begs the larger question about situational appropriateness right? And it's like why do people who collect stamps, or buttons or stuff, actually try to talk about it with people who don't?

Besides she looks like totally L, right?

Or what?

This shows why dogs should rule the world...

Seriously, right? And like, apparently, I am the last person on earth to realise this is the whole point of those useless little purse dogs that have become so totally popular and now I finally understand why. Purse dogs have it all worked out.

So why do Portugese women have...

...big earrings? Like, seriously, really, big? Because I'm in Lisbon all this week and I'm out in these cafes and bars and stuff, and down by the seaside, and the beach, and just about everywhere, right, and all the ladies, and there are some really fine ladies in this town, they all have these big earrings which I haven't seen all these other places in Europe I go to, like I was in London last week and those ladies, they come in all shapes and sizes and like, colours, and with and without tattoos and with and without earrings but they are not all, you know, big earrings, they have different types, whereas here in Lisbon they are. All big, I mean.

Like, look at this random Portugese lady

And so, last night this waitress, I think she must have been Brazilian, originally, or something, because she had legs so long my nose actually only came up to her navel, and yeah, I am not a really tall guy, but I'm not a runt either, anyway, so I asked her, hey you have really big earrings, and how come all the ladies here have those? But I don't think she understood me too good, because she said 'deixar de olhar no meu peito que perverte' which of course I didn't totally understand. Except that last word. And peito. Which means bosoms. So I am still confused.